Destruction

I try so hard to not be the one who slips up

The one who shows too much

The one who cries when she becomes empty

Yet,

I have been trying to cry for hours

I have been trying to cry for days

I have been trying to cry for it

For me and death

I keep failing

I keep letting pride intersect myself and healing

I keep trying to touch you with my words but I am losing

So I am flailing and screaming ever so subtly

I don’t know if you hear me

Please

Notice my pain

Pay attention to it and cater to it like a lost soul

I don’t know how to display it and release it

Notice my “outbursts”

I have been trying to cry for weeks

I have been trying to cry for a month

I have been trying to cry for an eternity

It’s not working

I’m destroying us.