The Nuance of Celebrity, Death, and Abuse
Usually when I write about events that occur in society, I like to take a few days to fully form an opinion. It only took me mere minutes, and then over the course of a few hours reading others’ opinions to comprehend how I felt about the death of 20 year old rapper XXXTentacion. When news of his death was confirmed, many celebrities took to social media to eulogize the young man and speak of all the good he did, as well as note his apparent want and need to change as a person.
If you don’t know who this rapper is, this is a good time for me to provide some context. He was a young man from Florida and spent most of his life in Florida. His love for music started at a young age due to his grandmother placing him in a choir. He spoke about going through depression and not having a great high school experience. Xxxtentacion also had several run ins with the law. He had possession of a weapon and was charged with the assault and robbery. Specifically he pistol whipped someone several times and allegedly assaulted (nearly killed) his pregnant ex-girlfriend. While in juvenile detention, he beat a cellmate up for being homosexual. Xxxtentacion was repeatedly in controversy, but his fans supported him, even as he committed these crimes. Fans would say, well he is donating money to domestic violence and anti-rape charities and throwing events to help his community. To clarify, he ended up not donating to the domestic violence charity, instead choosing to give money to causes for children. But, yes he did donate money to a charity.
At the same time, his fans, as well as Xxxtentacion harassed his ex-girlfriend for months making her fear for her life, all because he thought she was going to try to extort money from him due to the alleged assault. This woman is still affected by the assault; in fact she has a GoFundMe up to get money to repair her eye, which is still not functioning correctly. This is all while Xxxtentacion still has a following and has never been punished for his crimes. On top of his crimes, he constantly incited violence, said controversial things about racism, was a rampant homophobe, and overall did not exude good characteristics.
Now, I am smart enough to know that life is complex and that people are never purely good or bad, but I am also smart enough to know that some actions are inexcusable. Some actions require punishment, because the infliction of hurt on other people is never okay. Since XXXtentacion’s murder yesterday, I have seen countless eulogies on Twitter (I also saw the instagram screenshots) by celebrities, fans, and even people who were not his fans. On the other hand, there were countless posts that spoke about how people do not feel bad that he died, because he was not a good person and his victims still were never served justice.
Before I go on, I want to make it clear that I do not feel bad that this young man died. I was not sad, nor do I feel an ounce of sadness as I write this. I am not in the habit of forcing emotion I do not have. Although, I do feel bad for his family and for the pain they are going through.
Do I think anybody should be murdered? No. Do I wish death on anybody in this world? No. Do I support the killing of humans? No. Do I think there should be a video of someone's death? No. Do I think the person that killed him should be celebrated? No. Do I still think Black Lives Matter? Yes. Every single black person's life matters. Do I want justice to be served because no one has the right to take a life? Yes.
Despite all of that, I still do not feel bad for this man’s death. See, what happens when death comes, is that people seem to lack the simple understanding of nuance. When someone dies, either they are good or bad…most of the time it’s good, and if they have done anything remotely contradictory to that good, we disregard it. If you do not feel bad about this death, you are not respecting the dead.
What?!
That is what happened yesterday. Celebrities began eulogizing this young man and people on twitter started condemning the people like myself who don’t feel bad. Saying things like, How could you wish death on someone? He was so young, he was trying to change. He donated to all these charities and in his death we should let go of the bad he did. Block me if you are celebrating the death of a man.
I am not celebrating the death of a man, especially one I don't know personally, I simply don’t see the benefit in acting as if he was not incredibly flawed. I do not see the benefit, in understanding that he did not seem apologetic for his crimes and just a mere few days ago was still highly controversial. See that’s the weird thing about death, we glorify people so much and then begin to lack the understanding that people are complex. Someone can be an abuser and simultaneously give money to a charity. Someone can be an abuser and do public good while causing private harm. In fact, that is how most abusers are. Majority of abusers, especially when celebrity is tied into it, are absolved of their crimes, because their public good is of more importance than individual hurt. This is evident with celebrities, politicians, law enforcement, and people who work in the church. We see this everyday. Often times their public good is tied to their guilt, other times there is no guilt at all. Our society has yet to deal with abusers in the way we are supposed to and we constantly show that it is okay to be an abuser, because you will be allowed to make art. You will be allowed to live free. To make music. To make laws. To be the president. And most of all, you will be able to continue your abuse. We place blame on victims, and try to get them to be strong enough to get out of the web of abuse, but we don't address the abuser.
And sometimes we understand the phenomenon of abuse in celebrity culture, but don't address the abuse we see everyday in our own lives. None of this is black or white. All of us buy into this toxic culture.
I am sure XXXTentacion had good qualities in him because no one is completely good or bad. But his violence and his disregard for the lives that seemed inferior to him, means he does not get to be glorified in death. And once people understand that, without saying that people are wishing death on him, or that people lack empathy maybe this society has hope. Everything is deeply layered and complex. It's never just right or wrong. Maybe one day the victims of abuse will get the same outpouring support that an abuser gets in both life and death.
No one deserves to die, but not everyone deserves to be celebrated when they die.
